On 18 August, we gathered as a community of Black academics, researchers and practitioners in the aftermath of Professor Jason Arday’s death.

We used Audre Lorde’s A Burst of Light as a holding structure. Written in 1988, this essay is formed of diary entries & helped us articulate our thoughts…particularly her reflections on survival, institutional violence, death, grief, identity and self-preservation.

We spoke about what it means to navigate institutions that were not created with us in mind. About the exhaustion of constantly having to protect ourselves. About conformity, loneliness and the pressure to give parts of ourselves away in order to survive. We spoke about listening to our bodies and instincts, defining ourselves on our own terms, and choosing spaces where we can simply be.

Interestingly, we also spoke about what happens when someone whose work has helped name these conditions is no longer here.

Some questions that we considered together: what do we carry when someone is no longer here? What does it mean to honour a legacy without losing ourselves in the process?

One of the most important takeaways from the space was the idea that we need self-preservation to be collective, making sure that we continue to exist, create, research and care for one another. This space seemed to create the conditions for this, which I am grateful for.

Below are all of the slides from the session, alongside some quotes from attendees, shared live in the session. In the coming days, Reconcile Journal aims to publish another resource, sharing recommendations for recovery from the attendees of this session, so we can revisit it and be comforted by our own words when we need it.